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Good Morning! Sunday, April 30, 2017

ONLINE COUNSELLOR & LIFE COACH



Click with Kelly Armatage

Transitioning Tough Times

Life as we know it, is full of ups and downs. The ups are those wonderful periods of time whereby we feel at our most confident, at our most content, when we feel utterly indestructible. Everything is flowing, everything seems under control, an element of inner peace pervades our very being. At times like these, you often hear people say “this won’t last”, “I’m sure something will come along to break the peace”. Well, these statements have a certain truth about them, because one thing we can guarantee in life is this: Nothing stays the same. Everything changes! When tough times do rear their ugly head, what is certain to occur is a definite collapse in all that we feel is secure. Tough times can be a relationship break-up, a retirement, a redundancy, a death of a loved one. Tough times are generalised as a loss of some sort. When human beings experience a void in what was once a perfect time, things tend to fall apart. Emotions go from power to panic, from anticipation to anxiety from certainty to insecurity. It can literally feel like your world is falling apart. A vulnerability and rawness like no other, descends upon your heart and soul. Every day activities become a struggle to get through, as the person copes with the hurt from within. Yet how many people do you hear say, “That redundancy was the best thing that ever happened to me,” or “The loss of my mother ensured I created a zest for life”. It is through every tough time that we learn, that we grow and that we gain more information to see us through further on our journey. Without tough times, life would be mundane, tedious and just the same old same old. Where is the fun in that? Life is about lessons, development, new experiences and increased self awareness. Life is about change! If you are reading this and going through a change at this phase in your life and finding it difficult to cope, below are some techniques to ensure a smoother transitioning experience: - Let go! The pain you feel is due to holding on to what once was. By releasing control, we release the attachment to things being how we want them to be. Remember the universe has a plan for you and what you desire will come eventually, but the timing is orchestrated by the universe unfortunately and not by you. - Allow things to be messy! Just because things are not how you wish them to be, would that really give the feeling of contentment? True contentment comes from acceptance of the here and now. Repeating the mantra “I allow things to be messy” helps to release the stress. - Embrace this time as a good thing, as a blessing. This time is a gift for you to learn new information about yourself and the world in general. Allow the life lesson to come to you through being open to it, rather than through resistance. By resisting, be sure that the pain will just continue. - Nurture and encourage yourself through this time. Quite often when things are unsettled, it can be easy to go into controlling, repairing and fixing mode, which just exacerbates the problem. Placing unrealistic goals upon yourself through a tough time can in fact hurt you more. Now is the time for reflection, for acceptance and most definitely for providing an extra emotional support to yourself. - Use a journal for your feelings day by day. This will show the process of change that you are going through. This will show the new feelings, views and thoughts you will be having at this time. Journalling ensures you create a deeper self awareness. - Allow your vulnerability to be there. Accept your emotions at this time as being softer and more raw. So many people resist and push away their emotions, literally scared of the feelings that are coming up. Allow the feelings. Embrace them. By allowing, we speed up the process of them becoming less painful. - Accept support, love and nurturance from others. It is not necessary to be so strong all of the time! There is no need to be fearful of the future or of tough times. Tough times are the transition to a better place, a deeper and more invigorating way to live your life. If fear for the future occurs, push it away, for that which is on its way is for your well-being and good in the long run. Allow yourself to walk through the woods with strength and acceptance. Can’t you see the beautiful rainbow awaiting you at the other side?

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